i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
