I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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