So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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