It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I want you more than these girls want KFC
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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