I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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