We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
