You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
