She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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