How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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