so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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