ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
