You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
