I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
