so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
