You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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