The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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