But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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