My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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