Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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