I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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