Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wear drunk well.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
