I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
