her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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