...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
