Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So squirting runs in the family.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
These tits shall not be calmed
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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