When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I party with great urgency now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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