Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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