So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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