Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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