The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
