I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
