shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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