I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
