just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
