Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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