You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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