I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
