marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize