Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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