He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
