Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
