Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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