i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
