wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
