i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize