I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.