so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?