i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.