i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
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guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough