CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to