Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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