White coat. Heels.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
