Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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