GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
zippers are such a cool invention
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
