guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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