In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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