'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
