Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
