she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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