Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
