My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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