i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
These tits shall not be calmed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
