I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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