whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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