Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
