i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
